New Decade

Well it is here, the eve of a new decade. Not that I mind, age is truly a relative thing, I don't feel as old as I thought 40 would feel. Even with all the turmoil I have had lately I am not resigned to being "over the hill". No black balloon's, no jars of Geritol, that is what I remember from when I was young. My aunt getting a big bottle of scotch and joking that she was sure it was going to be Geritol. I am not worried about anything like that. I saw this birthday looming on the horizon and was looking forward to it. I was looking forward to my future and all the good places my life was going. Somehow that has taken a turn, not so sure where it is going now but I will find out in time.

Today has been a hard one, very lonely. I have my sweet girl Miley who I took to the dog park today, a nice triumph in doing something normal but sadness to not be sharing her antics with anyone. The rest of the day was spent much in silence with lovely flowers from my mom set on my bookcase. The only sound I could hear was the clock ticking off the seconds shortening the time until I was officially one year older and pushed to into the next bracket the defines age. It is almost here, I have so much to look forward to and tomorrow will be spent with the two most beautiful girls in the world doing important stuff like going to soccer games. I bought a birthday cake today rich and chocolaty, Emily will like that. The day will simple and normal, that is good enough for me. Even if it is not how I had envisioned the day to be exactly, it is life with all of the unexpected things that come with it and I have survived them thus far. Spending the day with my girls is a wonderful gift everything beyond that will be icing on the cake. Did I mention it is chocolate?