Rollercoaster’s

As a kid I loved them they were exhilarating I never felt sick and could go on them over and over. Now as un adult I don’t feel quite the same way, whiplash, motion sickness, knocking heads with my companion in the car. They just don’t hold the same appeal. After the last 2 months I would have even more hesitance and even fear for my safety to get on one. Now bike racing is a risk too and could potentially cause injury similar to my fears of a rollercoaster. Does that mean I won’t bike race again? I eagerly look forward to getting back on the bike and racing again. Is there risk? Yes, am willing to accept that risk because of what I gain from the experience? I guess so, I love racing my bike.

I have been on several rollercoaster’s in the last 2 months metaphorically speaking, (duh!) that I don’t remember buying a ticket for. I find myself riding them wanting the out of control ups, downs and turns to stop. Rollercoaster #1- I will name it The Brain Sinker this one is my illness. I just wanted to get the heck off but I had to ride it out. I feel like that ride has slowed and is coming to a stop, not by my choice or my control, but rather by the intervention of medicine (a little late, but it does finally seems to have ended and I am on the path to recovery) The 2nd one is a bit more difficult to explain, I will name it… heck I can’t invent one to cover this drama. Parts of it I am ready to jump off, no desire to ride this out and I don’t feel like I hold much control in stopping it. Sometime it is better to let things go and simply move on. Other parts I am saying “bring it on!” I am ready for this even with all the past it will bring up and how it means I have to go back and revisit old wounds it is necessary and could salvage a relationship outside of my own. The rest of this ride is choosing my direction right now its up and down and all over. I feel that the path I was on before everything happened has now diverged into different directions and I need to decide which one I am on or choose a brand new one to follow.

There is a 3rd rollercoaster I need to mention that I don’t want off of. If you ever saw Parenthood with Steve Martin you will understand. This ride is filled with ups and downs, the unexpected, joys and pains but it is one heck of a ride. I have no intentions of stopping or jumping off this ride I will stay on it for as long as I can.