Wow it has been a while. I am so far off the back cycling right now it seems pointless write anything. My rain bike is still not built up but with the current weather conditions it wouldn't really matter.
Yesterday the girls and I escaped Seattle with all the icy roads it took us 35 minute just to get the the freeway. Then we had slippery roads up the pass, cars spinning out, jackknifed trucks resulting in 30 mile detours and one very frightened driver (not me) going no faster than 25mph down all of Blewett. 7 1/2 hours later we made it. Glad to be in Mazama at the cabin with Reid and the girls and a very happy mountain dog.
Today we go out on snowmobiles to find a Christmas tree. It will be my very first time on one and I am the driver. Wish me luck!
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Sunday
was a great day. I woke up to a clean and almost ant free kitchen. Odorous house ants are very difficult to get rid of. They love sugars and yes, my house is still stocked with Halloween candy from my girls that is now safely in Ziploc bags and more importantly not in my gut. :)
I played with Miley who was in need of some rough housin' then got ready to go to Emily's last soccer game of the season. The game was great they tied 1-1 Emily scoring for the tie, that's my Emmy! Then it was off to the pizza party, only bitter sweet part is that this was my last year to coach since she will move up t a level that I am not skilled enough to handle and I couldn't coach due to all that happened, the sweet part was Megan empathizing with me and how I must feel even though I said nothing, that's my Megan. I love these two people so very much and know I am so very lucky to have them in my life.
After the pizza party I said my goodbyes and head to the IMA (on a Sunday! 1st time ever) to ride the life cycle and do my exercises, it was good and I appreciate every drop of sweat and every sore muscle. A month ago I could barely get off a couch.
Next it was home to feed Miley then head to dinner with my good friends Shan and Jason. I managed to leave my keys in the house and realized it just as I shut the front door oops! Miley was very curious why I was walking around the house with her inside, "hey, open the door good girl!" Alas, she is a dog no oposable thumbs and even when she sits when I say "sit" she doesn't really understand English. Luckily I have a supper secret key just in case, this is not the first time I have needed it either. And no it is not in a fake rock! Dinner was great, Thia yum yum and the company was even better, I love these two people they are such a good couple and both such true friends. I am a very lucky person indeed!
I came home to my lovely girl and my guardian Miley, she is always happy to see me and I to see her. We watched TV for a while, bear attacks and how to survive, then headed up to bed. She is now sleeping next to me after getting her night time belly rubs and I am on the computer
that has taken up residence where I used to have pillows. I will watch on more episode of "The Office" on Netflix watch instantly, hopefully I wont fall asleep this time halfway thorough and wake up in the middle of the night with my glasses and the lights still on, how embarrassing!
Monday I will go to work and PT then see my team, many for the first time and then the week will fly by and soon another Sunday will be upon me, I can only hope it will be a wonderful as this one.
I played with Miley who was in need of some rough housin' then got ready to go to Emily's last soccer game of the season. The game was great they tied 1-1 Emily scoring for the tie, that's my Emmy! Then it was off to the pizza party, only bitter sweet part is that this was my last year to coach since she will move up t a level that I am not skilled enough to handle and I couldn't coach due to all that happened, the sweet part was Megan empathizing with me and how I must feel even though I said nothing, that's my Megan. I love these two people so very much and know I am so very lucky to have them in my life.
After the pizza party I said my goodbyes and head to the IMA (on a Sunday! 1st time ever) to ride the life cycle and do my exercises, it was good and I appreciate every drop of sweat and every sore muscle. A month ago I could barely get off a couch.
Next it was home to feed Miley then head to dinner with my good friends Shan and Jason. I managed to leave my keys in the house and realized it just as I shut the front door oops! Miley was very curious why I was walking around the house with her inside, "hey, open the door good girl!" Alas, she is a dog no oposable thumbs and even when she sits when I say "sit" she doesn't really understand English. Luckily I have a supper secret key just in case, this is not the first time I have needed it either. And no it is not in a fake rock! Dinner was great, Thia yum yum and the company was even better, I love these two people they are such a good couple and both such true friends. I am a very lucky person indeed!
I came home to my lovely girl and my guardian Miley, she is always happy to see me and I to see her. We watched TV for a while, bear attacks and how to survive, then headed up to bed. She is now sleeping next to me after getting her night time belly rubs and I am on the computer
that has taken up residence where I used to have pillows. I will watch on more episode of "The Office" on Netflix watch instantly, hopefully I wont fall asleep this time halfway thorough and wake up in the middle of the night with my glasses and the lights still on, how embarrassing!
Monday I will go to work and PT then see my team, many for the first time and then the week will fly by and soon another Sunday will be upon me, I can only hope it will be a wonderful as this one.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Making this quick
Things have accomplished today;
1.Giving up giving up coffee, it became became obvious that I can not survive with out the number one drug of choice (that has not been verified but likely is true) when I wanted to cry because I could not function at work and really Really REALLY wanted to just lay down and the lab floor and take a nap. Yuck!
2.Going to the gym and riding the life-cycle for 30 minutes. First excercise I have had since July!
3.Buying x-mas gifts at smartwool sale before Halloween! OK only two cute hats, but it counts.
4.Wrote a blog entry.
Whew! Done.
1.Giving up giving up coffee, it became became obvious that I can not survive with out the number one drug of choice (that has not been verified but likely is true) when I wanted to cry because I could not function at work and really Really REALLY wanted to just lay down and the lab floor and take a nap. Yuck!
2.Going to the gym and riding the life-cycle for 30 minutes. First excercise I have had since July!
3.Buying x-mas gifts at smartwool sale before Halloween! OK only two cute hats, but it counts.
4.Wrote a blog entry.
Whew! Done.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
New Decade
Well it is here, the eve of a new decade. Not that I mind, age is truly a relative thing, I don't feel as old as I thought 40 would feel. Even with all the turmoil I have had lately I am not resigned to being "over the hill". No black balloon's, no jars of Geritol, that is what I remember from when I was young. My aunt getting a big bottle of scotch and joking that she was sure it was going to be Geritol. I am not worried about anything like that. I saw this birthday looming on the horizon and was looking forward to it. I was looking forward to my future and all the good places my life was going. Somehow that has taken a turn, not so sure where it is going now but I will find out in time.
Today has been a hard one, very lonely. I have my sweet girl Miley who I took to the dog park today, a nice triumph in doing something normal but sadness to not be sharing her antics with anyone. The rest of the day was spent much in silence with lovely flowers from my mom set on my bookcase. The only sound I could hear was the clock ticking off the seconds shortening the time until I was officially one year older and pushed to into the next bracket the defines age. It is almost here, I have so much to look forward to and tomorrow will be spent with the two most beautiful girls in the world doing important stuff like going to soccer games. I bought a birthday cake today rich and chocolaty, Emily will like that. The day will simple and normal, that is good enough for me. Even if it is not how I had envisioned the day to be exactly, it is life with all of the unexpected things that come with it and I have survived them thus far. Spending the day with my girls is a wonderful gift everything beyond that will be icing on the cake. Did I mention it is chocolate?
Today has been a hard one, very lonely. I have my sweet girl Miley who I took to the dog park today, a nice triumph in doing something normal but sadness to not be sharing her antics with anyone. The rest of the day was spent much in silence with lovely flowers from my mom set on my bookcase. The only sound I could hear was the clock ticking off the seconds shortening the time until I was officially one year older and pushed to into the next bracket the defines age. It is almost here, I have so much to look forward to and tomorrow will be spent with the two most beautiful girls in the world doing important stuff like going to soccer games. I bought a birthday cake today rich and chocolaty, Emily will like that. The day will simple and normal, that is good enough for me. Even if it is not how I had envisioned the day to be exactly, it is life with all of the unexpected things that come with it and I have survived them thus far. Spending the day with my girls is a wonderful gift everything beyond that will be icing on the cake. Did I mention it is chocolate?
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Giving up?
At what point to you decide to just give up? It depends I suppose, in a bike race at least for me there are several key moments that I find it prudent to give up.
Example 1. In a crit once you are getting lapped and our good friend Phil pulls you, then it is time to give up. But I don’t give up before that ‘cause you never know what can happen to slow stuff up and catch back on (although that has never happened to me once they have been totally out of sight). So, until pulled it becomes cornering practice and a $20+ workout.
Example 2. In a road race I would possibly say when the follow car passes you but, I have been passed by the follow car and DIDN’T give up passed the follow car and worked my but off to catch back on. Walla Walla for instance I did this a whopping 5 times. I know, I know why did I keep getting dropped? I will never know but it must have something to due with not tucking in and holding a darn wheel! So I have to choose a different moment, hmmm I only give up if my bike fails me or my body screams “uncle!”
Even when I see those flashing lights head over the horizon out of sight I don’t usually give up, I practice TTing. If you know me, you know that I hate to TT so that is saying something ;)
Example 3. When you are on a team training ride ( these are technically not races but some days you have to wonder) and there is that all important sprint point, you are on down to 3 gulps in the water bottle and one Cliff shot and you are riding with da' boys. Now that is time to give up and not spend the last match, Ballard is a long way from Mercer Island.
Now life is not a bike race, although I am sure there are plenty of analogies that can be drawn from this fabulous sport. :) I am wondering in life when do I give up?
Like with my illness, when should I have given up? Well never, that is part of what was so scary, I had to keep going even without knowing if it would ever end. Giving up would never have been an option for me, my body would have had to give up without my consent.
Basically I don’t give up easily I endure as much as I can. This is especially true with those that I love. I guess I am wondering with those that you hold closest when is it time give up? When your heart and your feelings keep getting bruised how many times before you say "uncle"? I try to be understanding, empathetic and forgive when I can. But when you keep getting knocked down at what point do you pick yourself back up, brush off all the dirt, turn and walk away not to look back? I don’t have that answer today. Once upon a time I did, there was a crystal clear moment when the pain out weighed the love. I am a Libra and it is my birthday month, so I get to use my astrological sign for this metaphor which is… a scale. Right now that scale is in a pivotal balance ready to tip to either side and I don’t know which way it will go. Nothing crystal clear but that day must be coming soon.
Example 1. In a crit once you are getting lapped and our good friend Phil pulls you, then it is time to give up. But I don’t give up before that ‘cause you never know what can happen to slow stuff up and catch back on (although that has never happened to me once they have been totally out of sight). So, until pulled it becomes cornering practice and a $20+ workout.
Example 2. In a road race I would possibly say when the follow car passes you but, I have been passed by the follow car and DIDN’T give up passed the follow car and worked my but off to catch back on. Walla Walla for instance I did this a whopping 5 times. I know, I know why did I keep getting dropped? I will never know but it must have something to due with not tucking in and holding a darn wheel! So I have to choose a different moment, hmmm I only give up if my bike fails me or my body screams “uncle!”
Even when I see those flashing lights head over the horizon out of sight I don’t usually give up, I practice TTing. If you know me, you know that I hate to TT so that is saying something ;)
Example 3. When you are on a team training ride ( these are technically not races but some days you have to wonder) and there is that all important sprint point, you are on down to 3 gulps in the water bottle and one Cliff shot and you are riding with da' boys. Now that is time to give up and not spend the last match, Ballard is a long way from Mercer Island.
Now life is not a bike race, although I am sure there are plenty of analogies that can be drawn from this fabulous sport. :) I am wondering in life when do I give up?
Like with my illness, when should I have given up? Well never, that is part of what was so scary, I had to keep going even without knowing if it would ever end. Giving up would never have been an option for me, my body would have had to give up without my consent.
Basically I don’t give up easily I endure as much as I can. This is especially true with those that I love. I guess I am wondering with those that you hold closest when is it time give up? When your heart and your feelings keep getting bruised how many times before you say "uncle"? I try to be understanding, empathetic and forgive when I can. But when you keep getting knocked down at what point do you pick yourself back up, brush off all the dirt, turn and walk away not to look back? I don’t have that answer today. Once upon a time I did, there was a crystal clear moment when the pain out weighed the love. I am a Libra and it is my birthday month, so I get to use my astrological sign for this metaphor which is… a scale. Right now that scale is in a pivotal balance ready to tip to either side and I don’t know which way it will go. Nothing crystal clear but that day must be coming soon.
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Rollercoaster’s
As a kid I loved them they were exhilarating I never felt sick and could go on them over and over. Now as un adult I don’t feel quite the same way, whiplash, motion sickness, knocking heads with my companion in the car. They just don’t hold the same appeal. After the last 2 months I would have even more hesitance and even fear for my safety to get on one. Now bike racing is a risk too and could potentially cause injury similar to my fears of a rollercoaster. Does that mean I won’t bike race again? I eagerly look forward to getting back on the bike and racing again. Is there risk? Yes, am willing to accept that risk because of what I gain from the experience? I guess so, I love racing my bike.
I have been on several rollercoaster’s in the last 2 months metaphorically speaking, (duh!) that I don’t remember buying a ticket for. I find myself riding them wanting the out of control ups, downs and turns to stop. Rollercoaster #1- I will name it The Brain Sinker this one is my illness. I just wanted to get the heck off but I had to ride it out. I feel like that ride has slowed and is coming to a stop, not by my choice or my control, but rather by the intervention of medicine (a little late, but it does finally seems to have ended and I am on the path to recovery) The 2nd one is a bit more difficult to explain, I will name it… heck I can’t invent one to cover this drama. Parts of it I am ready to jump off, no desire to ride this out and I don’t feel like I hold much control in stopping it. Sometime it is better to let things go and simply move on. Other parts I am saying “bring it on!” I am ready for this even with all the past it will bring up and how it means I have to go back and revisit old wounds it is necessary and could salvage a relationship outside of my own. The rest of this ride is choosing my direction right now its up and down and all over. I feel that the path I was on before everything happened has now diverged into different directions and I need to decide which one I am on or choose a brand new one to follow.
There is a 3rd rollercoaster I need to mention that I don’t want off of. If you ever saw Parenthood with Steve Martin you will understand. This ride is filled with ups and downs, the unexpected, joys and pains but it is one heck of a ride. I have no intentions of stopping or jumping off this ride I will stay on it for as long as I can.
I have been on several rollercoaster’s in the last 2 months metaphorically speaking, (duh!) that I don’t remember buying a ticket for. I find myself riding them wanting the out of control ups, downs and turns to stop. Rollercoaster #1- I will name it The Brain Sinker this one is my illness. I just wanted to get the heck off but I had to ride it out. I feel like that ride has slowed and is coming to a stop, not by my choice or my control, but rather by the intervention of medicine (a little late, but it does finally seems to have ended and I am on the path to recovery) The 2nd one is a bit more difficult to explain, I will name it… heck I can’t invent one to cover this drama. Parts of it I am ready to jump off, no desire to ride this out and I don’t feel like I hold much control in stopping it. Sometime it is better to let things go and simply move on. Other parts I am saying “bring it on!” I am ready for this even with all the past it will bring up and how it means I have to go back and revisit old wounds it is necessary and could salvage a relationship outside of my own. The rest of this ride is choosing my direction right now its up and down and all over. I feel that the path I was on before everything happened has now diverged into different directions and I need to decide which one I am on or choose a brand new one to follow.
There is a 3rd rollercoaster I need to mention that I don’t want off of. If you ever saw Parenthood with Steve Martin you will understand. This ride is filled with ups and downs, the unexpected, joys and pains but it is one heck of a ride. I have no intentions of stopping or jumping off this ride I will stay on it for as long as I can.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Miley
It has been 10 days since went back in to have my second back surgery for them to go in find the leak and glue it shut. They never located the actual site of the leak but glued, tested and glues some more until the they could not see anymore fluid coming out. I think it worked, but everyday I wake up and still have head pain and am frightened of it returning to the previous level. I am resting and finding that even being up and moving around the house, sitting at a table or taking even a short walk is exhausting. Can’t even imagine riding my bike right now, exercise is not even part of the plan for awhile. What do I do with my day? Mostly I sit and rest and hangout with my sweet girl Miley. She has become my constant companion, she has kept watch over me staying by my side. She has come up on the bed or come gently over to sniff and kiss my face when I have been crying in pain from the surgery, my head and neck or just my heart. Miley has been protective of me with all the "strangers" that have come to help me since I got home last Wednesday. She will come and sit next to me and woof at some of the new people who have been stopping by, she keeps a close eye on me and stays nearby most of the time. She has been excellent on all the walks my friends have taken her on. She misses my girls since they have had to stay with their father this whole time and runs around the house full of joy when they visit. She has been on patrol in the yard trying to catch a mole, unfortunately that has resulted in numerous large holes but she is trying. Yesterday I decided to walk around the block I debated if I should bring her for fear of injuring myself, I brought her anyway and she was perfect. She walked slowly at my pace and kept checking in with me, she never pulled and came straight back to the door even though the walk was short. I have bonded so completely with her and am in awe of her sensitivity to me, my pain and my emotions as well as her loyalty and her devotion to this new job of keeping watch over me. She is sitting by the front door right now looking out the screen keeping an eye on the world outside. Sitting up when people, bikes and best of all dogs walk by. She could easily bust through the screen but she doesn't even paw at it, she just sits up or stands for the more interesting the passerby while periodically looking back over at me and checking in.
Miley has become a healer, a guardian and my most loved friend. At 1 year old to have done all of that is remarkable. I can’t wait until she gets back to her other job of the morning routine helping my wake my girls and get them off to school. It is lonely here right now, just me to look after no Megan or Emily, no Reid and no kitties (she had taken on the responsibility of herding them to the basement and just chasing for fun).
I am so fortunate in so many ways, while I have lost so much during this whole series of events I am blessed with love and friendship from so many that reached out to me, my Miley culminates this all in one 93lbs bundle of fur.
Miley has become a healer, a guardian and my most loved friend. At 1 year old to have done all of that is remarkable. I can’t wait until she gets back to her other job of the morning routine helping my wake my girls and get them off to school. It is lonely here right now, just me to look after no Megan or Emily, no Reid and no kitties (she had taken on the responsibility of herding them to the basement and just chasing for fun).
I am so fortunate in so many ways, while I have lost so much during this whole series of events I am blessed with love and friendship from so many that reached out to me, my Miley culminates this all in one 93lbs bundle of fur.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Emerging
I have emerged on the other side of the most traumatic illness I could imagine. I was stripped of everything for a moment. What I will get back, being mom for sure. My health will return, I will get strong again although it will be a slow process. I have gained so much in this, more love and support that I could ever imagine was there for me. The friends and family that have come to lift me up through this while I was the most incapable of caring for myself physically and emotionally is amazing. I love them all and am eternally grateful.
What I lost in that 2 months was time that I don't get back, 1st days of school, events and moments that I would have shared with others. The most significant loss is the love of my life. I hide him from my blog most of the time because I don't like to air my feelings about him and about our relationship publicly it is how I guess I protected and respected that this isn't the place for me to express that personal relationship. Maybe I should have shown my appreciation and love for him here, maybe not. I lost him before I could get out of the nightmare I was in. I finally was relinquished from the pain and agony of the leak that pulled my brain away from my skull and made living, thinking, feeling anything normal impossible to find my heart now crushed and the promise of our future together gone. Over the months of my illness his frustrations with issues mounted and I was not able to respond to. There were issues, there are things that I said and did that hurt him we needed to be deal with them but I was incapable of doing any of it until today. How very sorry I am that I can't rewind to the beginning of August and see what I see now, take back actions or things I said during my illness that hurt him. I was not myself for those two months and I wish that he could understand that more fully than I think he does and realize that everything that I was doing was not how I really am. The chronic pain and the physiological toll that leak had on me made me into a different person. I kept saying "I don't feel like me anymore" I wish he had listened to that more completely. Even after what has happened and the awful way the events played out I love him and know that I can forgive in time if we are able to work on things. My hope is that he can understand me and what was happening to me. At the same time that he was feeling like everything was lost, the issues were too much and he had to get out I was trapped helpless to do anything to fix how he felt just as he was helpless to fix me. How tragic that an illness can steel away so much and even when it is over the loss is greater than what could have been imagined.
What I lost in that 2 months was time that I don't get back, 1st days of school, events and moments that I would have shared with others. The most significant loss is the love of my life. I hide him from my blog most of the time because I don't like to air my feelings about him and about our relationship publicly it is how I guess I protected and respected that this isn't the place for me to express that personal relationship. Maybe I should have shown my appreciation and love for him here, maybe not. I lost him before I could get out of the nightmare I was in. I finally was relinquished from the pain and agony of the leak that pulled my brain away from my skull and made living, thinking, feeling anything normal impossible to find my heart now crushed and the promise of our future together gone. Over the months of my illness his frustrations with issues mounted and I was not able to respond to. There were issues, there are things that I said and did that hurt him we needed to be deal with them but I was incapable of doing any of it until today. How very sorry I am that I can't rewind to the beginning of August and see what I see now, take back actions or things I said during my illness that hurt him. I was not myself for those two months and I wish that he could understand that more fully than I think he does and realize that everything that I was doing was not how I really am. The chronic pain and the physiological toll that leak had on me made me into a different person. I kept saying "I don't feel like me anymore" I wish he had listened to that more completely. Even after what has happened and the awful way the events played out I love him and know that I can forgive in time if we are able to work on things. My hope is that he can understand me and what was happening to me. At the same time that he was feeling like everything was lost, the issues were too much and he had to get out I was trapped helpless to do anything to fix how he felt just as he was helpless to fix me. How tragic that an illness can steel away so much and even when it is over the loss is greater than what could have been imagined.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Waiting
I am laying in my bed waiting for the UW hospital to call and tell me to drive over to have surgery tonight. Crazy, they said 8PM but it is now 9PM and I am at home waiting. Not sure if they will call at all and how fresh is a surgeon at 10 at night to be cutting me open and looking around?
I have been unable to sit up with out extreme head and neck pain since August 15th. I have had 1 surgery, 10 IV's, 4 MRI's and 2 CT scans, 3 ER trips, 2 hospital stays with surgery 2 and hospital stay 3 and more IV's pending, but really who's counting? (My insurance is I am sure)
Due to all of this I am unable to take care of my girls, this is killing me. I have missed the 1st day of school, soccer, and just daily life with them. With all the pain this is what makes me cry, not being mom. I so desperately want to get back to normal and want to do all the daily stuff. I want to be the caregiver not the one needing help for almost everything. I want my morning routine of getting the girls ready for school and the rush in the evening to get it all done before tomorrow. Sure I also want to ride a bike see my friends and simply live a normal day, but at the core it is being there for Megan and Emily that I want back the most. Clarity in life can come from having everything stripped to the bare elements and seeing what is left. If I have to loose everything one thing at a time what do I hold the closest and let go of last? My girls, not that I did not already know how much they mean to me I did, it's that I don't think I realized for myself how much happiness my being mom makes me. I love all the other things in my life too but I have not sobbed over not being able to ride my bike or drive or sit upright and eat or anything except that I can't be there for my girls. Don't get me wrong, I have lost it and cried over feeling like I will never be normal again but true loss and fear of loss has only been over being mom.
Tomorrow is a new day, and I am feeling like the surgery won't happen tonight but who knows, one more thing out of my control for now. Hopefully tomorrow I will have a buoyant brain.
I have been unable to sit up with out extreme head and neck pain since August 15th. I have had 1 surgery, 10 IV's, 4 MRI's and 2 CT scans, 3 ER trips, 2 hospital stays with surgery 2 and hospital stay 3 and more IV's pending, but really who's counting? (My insurance is I am sure)
Due to all of this I am unable to take care of my girls, this is killing me. I have missed the 1st day of school, soccer, and just daily life with them. With all the pain this is what makes me cry, not being mom. I so desperately want to get back to normal and want to do all the daily stuff. I want to be the caregiver not the one needing help for almost everything. I want my morning routine of getting the girls ready for school and the rush in the evening to get it all done before tomorrow. Sure I also want to ride a bike see my friends and simply live a normal day, but at the core it is being there for Megan and Emily that I want back the most. Clarity in life can come from having everything stripped to the bare elements and seeing what is left. If I have to loose everything one thing at a time what do I hold the closest and let go of last? My girls, not that I did not already know how much they mean to me I did, it's that I don't think I realized for myself how much happiness my being mom makes me. I love all the other things in my life too but I have not sobbed over not being able to ride my bike or drive or sit upright and eat or anything except that I can't be there for my girls. Don't get me wrong, I have lost it and cried over feeling like I will never be normal again but true loss and fear of loss has only been over being mom.
Tomorrow is a new day, and I am feeling like the surgery won't happen tonight but who knows, one more thing out of my control for now. Hopefully tomorrow I will have a buoyant brain.
Monday, August 11, 2008
ER not as seen on TV
Saturday turned out to be a pretty sucky day all in all. I thought I was doing better even over at friends for dinner on Friday night but Saturday rolled in as an ugly ugly morning. In a fog that I couldn't quite explain then sick nothing to come up but it still was.
Called the neurosurgeon on call and he talked me it could be a virus had I been around any kids? Well no, unless you count 30 somethings and boy sense of humor... He said that he wasn't the best at evaluating these things and I should go to the ER. Really didn't want to so he gave me Zofran that I got from the local pharmacy and slept most of the day. Woke up toward evening and felt even worse pain nausea and couldn't keep even water down for a minute. I was falling down not able to walk but had to crawl to the bathroom, Time to go to the ER. Should have gone to Swedish just down the street but since I had surgery at the UW did the drive there instead. MISTAKE! They were apathetic couldn't speak English or put in an IV without spilling a ton of my blood (not what I needed to see at that moment) I was there for 6 hours with barely anyone even checking in on me the Docs were nice once they showed up but that wasn't until 1 or 2 am. I finally went out and told them I just want to go home. They then gave me meds and a narcotic that I though was going to send me into cardiac arrest, no joke my whole body seized up and hurt in my chest so bad the nurse said take deep breaths, cool they may be the last I ever get! Not to be too dramatic but I was very scared at that moment that things were going very wrong. Needless to say I survived, yesterday was a fog all day forced to finally eat and drink, Prune juice of all things now I really feel old. I am on the up swing. Yea.
Then I hear this morning that a teammate and a good friend had a nasty crash at the Kirkland crit. Hoping they are both doing OK today and recovering. Anyone know how Carol is doing let me know please. Tricia I hear is tough as ever and is said to be doing fine with a nasty bump to the head. :(
Please, no more ER for anyone this year!!!
Called the neurosurgeon on call and he talked me it could be a virus had I been around any kids? Well no, unless you count 30 somethings and boy sense of humor... He said that he wasn't the best at evaluating these things and I should go to the ER. Really didn't want to so he gave me Zofran that I got from the local pharmacy and slept most of the day. Woke up toward evening and felt even worse pain nausea and couldn't keep even water down for a minute. I was falling down not able to walk but had to crawl to the bathroom, Time to go to the ER. Should have gone to Swedish just down the street but since I had surgery at the UW did the drive there instead. MISTAKE! They were apathetic couldn't speak English or put in an IV without spilling a ton of my blood (not what I needed to see at that moment) I was there for 6 hours with barely anyone even checking in on me the Docs were nice once they showed up but that wasn't until 1 or 2 am. I finally went out and told them I just want to go home. They then gave me meds and a narcotic that I though was going to send me into cardiac arrest, no joke my whole body seized up and hurt in my chest so bad the nurse said take deep breaths, cool they may be the last I ever get! Not to be too dramatic but I was very scared at that moment that things were going very wrong. Needless to say I survived, yesterday was a fog all day forced to finally eat and drink, Prune juice of all things now I really feel old. I am on the up swing. Yea.
Then I hear this morning that a teammate and a good friend had a nasty crash at the Kirkland crit. Hoping they are both doing OK today and recovering. Anyone know how Carol is doing let me know please. Tricia I hear is tough as ever and is said to be doing fine with a nasty bump to the head. :(
Please, no more ER for anyone this year!!!
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Surgery
Well it is done! I had my back surgery on Monday. My Doc said it was going to be fun, huh? For him it was a hoot, he found a rare condition in my nerves and a floating piece of vertebrae. My Nerves for S1-L5 and L5-L4 are fused and travel through the same foraimen, these two things were contributing greatly to pain. The pain in the middle of my back it gone, like magic, it has been a 1-1/2 years of continuous discomfort. I am very sore from the incision right now and get tired easily I am also still on some hefty pain pills but that is only for the bone he drilled away to make room for 2 nerves and the opening.
Here is the image of my spinal nerves, and the bone that has been "gnawed" away. My doc was excited to show me what he did and what he found. He was carrying this photo around with him to show colleagues. I asked him to sign my copy, if he would have had a sharpie I think he would have. I am the second person he has ever seen with the condition that is out of over 1,000 procedure's. Lucky deformed me! :)
What is next is 6 weeks of little activity then back to PT. Hopefully I will be on the bike again in about 2months. Can't push it or I will cause more problems. Here is for be so antsy to bike that once I start to I hope to make the most out of winter training. I am looking into a new rain bike too. Something lighter than my 15 year old steel Specialized. Any suggestions?
I finally started to update my flickr. More pic's to come, right now it is only a hike to Lake Anne and My Aspen Family Reunion. Check it out.
Hope to make it to the Kirkland crit to cheer on my team and assorted friends whom I hope to see out there.
Alrighty, I am pooped from sitting and typing this it is time for another nap!
Cheers!
Michele
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Still alive
Haven't been in the bloggin mood as of late. Too busy having fun in the sun mostly in Mazama since that seems to be where the sun is.
Been hiking quite a bit nothing too difficult but they have all been beautiful. I love the N Casacdes more and more and there is still so much to do and see. Tried mountain biking a few times. My new bike is sweet but I just don't have the stability right now and my back gets tired after about 1 hour. My sis and her husband came up from Durango and put the hurt on. They are so fricken fit. We had a blast hanging out. I get to see them again this Friday when I fly back to Aspen for our family reunion. Should be a good time seeing all the cousins back at the ranch. I still miss the Aspen ranch it was a kids paradise it is a very special place for all of us and it will be great to go back. Just wish I could bring my girls and Reid, way too expensive though. :(
I come back and start my count down to surgery. I made the decision to go this rout since nothing else seems to be making me better. The Doc is confident that I will get some relief but the recovery will be slow. 1 year is his estimation before I am back to really riding and hopefully racing. At this point just being abel to do anything without being in pain woudl be nice. I am pretty nervous, I don't know how bad the first part of recovery will be but he said 6 weeks before I can even start back to PT. Ugg, I hope it all goes OK.
Been hiking quite a bit nothing too difficult but they have all been beautiful. I love the N Casacdes more and more and there is still so much to do and see. Tried mountain biking a few times. My new bike is sweet but I just don't have the stability right now and my back gets tired after about 1 hour. My sis and her husband came up from Durango and put the hurt on. They are so fricken fit. We had a blast hanging out. I get to see them again this Friday when I fly back to Aspen for our family reunion. Should be a good time seeing all the cousins back at the ranch. I still miss the Aspen ranch it was a kids paradise it is a very special place for all of us and it will be great to go back. Just wish I could bring my girls and Reid, way too expensive though. :(
I come back and start my count down to surgery. I made the decision to go this rout since nothing else seems to be making me better. The Doc is confident that I will get some relief but the recovery will be slow. 1 year is his estimation before I am back to really riding and hopefully racing. At this point just being abel to do anything without being in pain woudl be nice. I am pretty nervous, I don't know how bad the first part of recovery will be but he said 6 weeks before I can even start back to PT. Ugg, I hope it all goes OK.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Keeping up
not so well, at least with blogging.
Summer if we can call it that yet has been busy. I have taken on a entire new lab that has me being tugged and pulled in different directions apearnetly there is not enough of me to go around, who'd thought? It is keeping me overly busy at work, managing my lab and starting one up from scratch. At some point they should start to pay me for all the extra time I am spending doing this but not yet.
The back is so so, I road into work Mon-Wed with one detour to Seward but by today it was clear that was enough. Bummer. I am slated to have surgery the begining of August. Please please please let that help!
The cabin ROCKS! We now have a hot tub. Therapy for the back, really. Looking forward to 9 days in Mazama to play, relax and spend time with my beautiful girls.
I miss all the racing although I had a great time supporting my team in Methow.
OK I have now kept up a bit more, not too exciting but there it is.
Cheers.
Summer if we can call it that yet has been busy. I have taken on a entire new lab that has me being tugged and pulled in different directions apearnetly there is not enough of me to go around, who'd thought? It is keeping me overly busy at work, managing my lab and starting one up from scratch. At some point they should start to pay me for all the extra time I am spending doing this but not yet.
The back is so so, I road into work Mon-Wed with one detour to Seward but by today it was clear that was enough. Bummer. I am slated to have surgery the begining of August. Please please please let that help!
The cabin ROCKS! We now have a hot tub. Therapy for the back, really. Looking forward to 9 days in Mazama to play, relax and spend time with my beautiful girls.
I miss all the racing although I had a great time supporting my team in Methow.
OK I have now kept up a bit more, not too exciting but there it is.
Cheers.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Tail Winds
Some days when I am on my bike it seems that all the stars are aligned. Yesterday was one of those days or so I thought. I hopped on my bike to head home after work and it was as if I was flying. My legs went around effortlessly, my lungs and heart seemed to be humming along in perfect sync. I floated by others as if they were hardly moving. It was blissful. I though "I am getting so much stronger, I can start racing now!" Then I turned North and headed ever so slightly uphill. I slowed and my legs began to burn a little and my back began to ache. I shifted down, a guy with very hairy legs, in his aero bars, loaded down with panniers passed me. Maybe I am not ready to race or maybe I can race if there are tail winds, only down hills and I have the perfect wheel to tuck behind. But, where then would the challenge come from? How would that make me stronger or better? It wouldn't. *sigh* It does hurt to get better, it takes getting beat to want to improve. At least for me, even if what is beating me are my own expectations.
As for yesterday, I will take it. That few moments of sweet harmonious riding and feeling good about what I was doing is enough to know where I want to be next time there is no tail wind and I am truly climbing. I will do it with confidence, strength and endurance, I'll get there just you wait.
As for yesterday, I will take it. That few moments of sweet harmonious riding and feeling good about what I was doing is enough to know where I want to be next time there is no tail wind and I am truly climbing. I will do it with confidence, strength and endurance, I'll get there just you wait.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Bike to Work Day!
1st, what about Bike Home from Work Day?? I didn't have time to stop and get any goodies this morning I was late. I was however ecstatic that I was actually biking! Unfortuantely, my hiatus from the bike had other complications, like my locker in the HSB that I have had for 5+ years. Appearently since I haven't been in there as often I missed the note saying that on May 9th Building Management (BM) was doing "spring cleaning" meaning "remove your lock and belongings or we will cut off your lock and through out your sh*t!"
Alas, Wednesday I biked in and found my lock gone and all my shower supplies including towel, hairdryer, good shampoo, deoderant etc. gone! Called BM to see if they still had my stuff - No they trew it out, this coming from the UW who is all about reduce, reuse, recycle! So I re-purchased or brought in all new stuff and picked out a new locker since as it turns out most >50% of the lockers have had locks on and not been open since as long ago as 1996! Spring Cleaning may have been in order so others could stash their stuff too. As consolation I biked in today in just my kit, sun on my arms and legs that is worth something, never mind the entire bathroom worth of supplies on my back. :)
Alas, Wednesday I biked in and found my lock gone and all my shower supplies including towel, hairdryer, good shampoo, deoderant etc. gone! Called BM to see if they still had my stuff - No they trew it out, this coming from the UW who is all about reduce, reuse, recycle! So I re-purchased or brought in all new stuff and picked out a new locker since as it turns out most >50% of the lockers have had locks on and not been open since as long ago as 1996! Spring Cleaning may have been in order so others could stash their stuff too. As consolation I biked in today in just my kit, sun on my arms and legs that is worth something, never mind the entire bathroom worth of supplies on my back. :)
Monday, May 05, 2008
sudo R&R ~ AKA moving in
We moved into our Mazama cabin this past weekend. I had hoped to go for a ride on Sunday but alas too much to do and little people anxious to explore the valley. It was beautiful and warm. The wild flowers are beginning to bloom. The views from the upper meadow just steps from our place are breathtaking. Riding will come soon enough. My back is still recovering. At least I can commute now and I am trying to swim regularly. Knowing all of the opportunities for recreation in the Methow valley is making eager to get back and to get strong again.
View from the main floorCan't wait to have friends out to stay with us. It is even better when shared with others.
Thanks so much to the generosity of our friends Micheal and John for spending their weekend helping! Thanks to our new neighbors Tim and Kathy(still building their dream house) for saving our ass, not to mention a 30' U-haul and our electrical service from disaster! We are so fortunate to have this place to go to now. If it weren't for having to make money and my girls and our friends I think I could drive over that pass an simply stay. I guess a owe thanks for all the good stuff in Seattle that keeps us here so that when we do drive over Hwy 20 we appreciate going there that much more.
A very tired out puppy!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Working Dog
At the end of October I introduced a new family member. She came to us as a 17.5lb black fur ball with the sweetest little tri-colored face. Her official name is Werlwind’s Picture Perfect. How do “they” come up with those names? She was part of the “p” litter thus her official name had to start w/ a “p” to designate what litter she is from. I picked it out, because after all I really did think she looked perfect. My girls picked out her calling name, Miley and yes the Disney super star did have an influence over the choice by my younger daughter (her only claim to being a girl at heart with her very tomboy exterior).
Now 5+ months later our little fur ball is 75lbs and still growing, has a gorgeous coat of shiny wavy fur, big brown eyes and what seems to be a constant smile, Smiley Miley. Since the first week we have been following a morning routine when the girls are with me. Miley wakes me up at 6:00-6:30am to go outside, then breakfast and then she waits for my older daughter to come up to go to school. We go out and she gets in the car, I used to pick her up and put her in back. While driving I could only see a small tuft of fur every once and a while moving about in the back. Now she jumps right in and takes up most of the rear window. She often rests her head along the side window and watches the world go by as we drive to school. She watches my daughter until she is out of sight around the building and then she settles in while we drive home. Once back home she goes in to wake up my younger daughter by leaping up onto the bed and laying ½ way across her, wagging her tail and giving a couple licks. We get ready and when it is time to go I open the closet and grab her leash. Over the last few months the routine has resulted in her new behavior, excited and wagging her tail she waits for me to affix the leash to her collar. I fold it over a few times and she gingerly takes it in her mouth and goes to the front door for our departure. Once out the door she waits until both my daughter and I are walking and she trots a few steps ahead looking back and waiting every few seconds. She holds her head up high and stop at every corner to sit and wait for us when I say “stop”. We used to get about a block this way then I would take her leash and we would do a normal dog walk. Now we are up to 6 blocks until we turn and hit a busy street. Miley trots in front doing what I now understand is her job. She is taking my girls to school this is now what she knows she should do. I honestly believe this to be true because on the way home when it is just the two of us she stops and sniffs, she chases after leaves or follows birds and squirrels as far as the leash will let her and she pulls me a little and looks to me for treats. I am amazed by her, at any other time we go for walks she really acts like any other dog on a leash. But every morning she is waiting to work and she leads the way. When the girls aren’t there I actually see a change in her smile, she is missing a very special part of her day, just like me.
Now 5+ months later our little fur ball is 75lbs and still growing, has a gorgeous coat of shiny wavy fur, big brown eyes and what seems to be a constant smile, Smiley Miley. Since the first week we have been following a morning routine when the girls are with me. Miley wakes me up at 6:00-6:30am to go outside, then breakfast and then she waits for my older daughter to come up to go to school. We go out and she gets in the car, I used to pick her up and put her in back. While driving I could only see a small tuft of fur every once and a while moving about in the back. Now she jumps right in and takes up most of the rear window. She often rests her head along the side window and watches the world go by as we drive to school. She watches my daughter until she is out of sight around the building and then she settles in while we drive home. Once back home she goes in to wake up my younger daughter by leaping up onto the bed and laying ½ way across her, wagging her tail and giving a couple licks. We get ready and when it is time to go I open the closet and grab her leash. Over the last few months the routine has resulted in her new behavior, excited and wagging her tail she waits for me to affix the leash to her collar. I fold it over a few times and she gingerly takes it in her mouth and goes to the front door for our departure. Once out the door she waits until both my daughter and I are walking and she trots a few steps ahead looking back and waiting every few seconds. She holds her head up high and stop at every corner to sit and wait for us when I say “stop”. We used to get about a block this way then I would take her leash and we would do a normal dog walk. Now we are up to 6 blocks until we turn and hit a busy street. Miley trots in front doing what I now understand is her job. She is taking my girls to school this is now what she knows she should do. I honestly believe this to be true because on the way home when it is just the two of us she stops and sniffs, she chases after leaves or follows birds and squirrels as far as the leash will let her and she pulls me a little and looks to me for treats. I am amazed by her, at any other time we go for walks she really acts like any other dog on a leash. But every morning she is waiting to work and she leads the way. When the girls aren’t there I actually see a change in her smile, she is missing a very special part of her day, just like me.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
HUGE sigh of relief!
Doc's have decided that the nodule they found is not a threat at this time and that just watching it by ultrasound is fine. Whew, the though of more blood draws and fine needle biopsy from my 9 year old had me very worried. Even though I tried to say it is nothing everything will be fine, I really was fearing the worst. So glad they don't think it is an issue and can be monitored non invasively.
My Doc decided that after my complaint of leg weakness and failing the leg pressure test that the second spinal injection needs to happen, today. Yesterday she stuck ~25 needles in my back, hurt for a while but actually feels a little better today. This hopefully will get me back to were the doc says I need to be, square one, no bike riding, PT and stretching. Then slowly add swimming and biking. Is Saturday slowly? Prolly not...
Speaking of Saturday, Walla Walla! Good luck everyone who is going I am jealous to not be there. I will keep my fingers crossed that the report for very cool temps and precip are wrong, wrong, wrong!
My Doc decided that after my complaint of leg weakness and failing the leg pressure test that the second spinal injection needs to happen, today. Yesterday she stuck ~25 needles in my back, hurt for a while but actually feels a little better today. This hopefully will get me back to were the doc says I need to be, square one, no bike riding, PT and stretching. Then slowly add swimming and biking. Is Saturday slowly? Prolly not...
Speaking of Saturday, Walla Walla! Good luck everyone who is going I am jealous to not be there. I will keep my fingers crossed that the report for very cool temps and precip are wrong, wrong, wrong!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
VP Breakdown
First and foremost, life has a way of putting everything in perspective very quickly. My daughters are the number one important thing in my life and when one of them gets sick its scary, when the docs don't know what's wrong you realize how quickly everything can change. After Tuesday night in the ER all night with my little one and calls later in the week with somethings they need to look at more closely I realized that nothing I do in life is more important then caring for my girls. Keeping my fingers crossed now as I wait for what the next steps I am hoping with everything that I am that it is really nothing and they are just doing their jobs to be sure of that.
It is a very good thing to have outlets and friends, especially when there is stuff on the horizon that scares you. This is why I LOVE the cycling community, it was so nice to be greeted by so many friendly faces. Regardless of how I did the day was perfect, sun sun everywhere and I finally got to shed the arm warmers and I got to spend the day involved in my favorite sport with my girls, friends and our puppy. What a glorious day.
VP:
I got there at 7:45 to set up a spot for our cat 4 team to warm up and get out on the course for the pre-ride that Gina is always kind enough to wake up and do with us. Not sure what happened with the warm up many gals didn't show til later and never saw them for the warm up but I tried. Watched the 4/5's race while warming up and then went around a few times before the line up. I went around one too many and ended up starting at the very back of what ended up being a field of 53 women!
Starting position was not ideal but I didn't really care since I figured I had very little chance of surviving the entire race. At the gun I was pretty much DFL around the water tower I could see the front of the race disappearing down the hill before I even made the left turn. Oh well, I spent my remaining time making up distance and finally got tethered onto the back of the main field but I just couldn't get the power to move up into the pack and get shelter. After a few times around with the field just in front of me my back and right leg told me I was finished. 15 of a 30 minute crit, oh well.
Thank you to Gina for yelling encouragement to me even as I fell off. Thank you to Amara and her always upbeat can do attitude with me, (one of these days I will actually do what she says she knows that I can :) I appreciate all of the people I could here cheering for me even though I was clearly not going to do anything spectacular. Thanks to Shannon for calling me the night before to just wish me luck knowing it was my first attempt at racing this year. To all of my friends THANK YOU!! It really does mean a lot and I hope I can return the same type of encouragement to all of you at some point.
There was a crash in the W123, Annette seemed to get the worst of it, hoping for a speedy recovery for her. Amara, I hope you are feeling better and no more dizziness!
As far as my team, they did awesome! This was the 1st crit for many of the W4's each one of them hung in and rocked that race. I hear they repeated the performance at BL Memorial the following day too. Yeah!
Wish I was well enough for Walla Walla, bummed to not be part of the whole team bonding thing right now but my time will come.
Still working on my back, still trying to keep life in perspective, with my little girl who is giving me a scare, I just keep hoping that it is nothing and she is going to be fine. She is my highest priority. It helps to have all the other encouragement to keep me positive and to keep hoping for the best case. Life just keep coming no matter what and you've got to roll with it.
Cheers!
It is a very good thing to have outlets and friends, especially when there is stuff on the horizon that scares you. This is why I LOVE the cycling community, it was so nice to be greeted by so many friendly faces. Regardless of how I did the day was perfect, sun sun everywhere and I finally got to shed the arm warmers and I got to spend the day involved in my favorite sport with my girls, friends and our puppy. What a glorious day.
VP:
I got there at 7:45 to set up a spot for our cat 4 team to warm up and get out on the course for the pre-ride that Gina is always kind enough to wake up and do with us. Not sure what happened with the warm up many gals didn't show til later and never saw them for the warm up but I tried. Watched the 4/5's race while warming up and then went around a few times before the line up. I went around one too many and ended up starting at the very back of what ended up being a field of 53 women!
Starting position was not ideal but I didn't really care since I figured I had very little chance of surviving the entire race. At the gun I was pretty much DFL around the water tower I could see the front of the race disappearing down the hill before I even made the left turn. Oh well, I spent my remaining time making up distance and finally got tethered onto the back of the main field but I just couldn't get the power to move up into the pack and get shelter. After a few times around with the field just in front of me my back and right leg told me I was finished. 15 of a 30 minute crit, oh well.
Thank you to Gina for yelling encouragement to me even as I fell off. Thank you to Amara and her always upbeat can do attitude with me, (one of these days I will actually do what she says she knows that I can :) I appreciate all of the people I could here cheering for me even though I was clearly not going to do anything spectacular. Thanks to Shannon for calling me the night before to just wish me luck knowing it was my first attempt at racing this year. To all of my friends THANK YOU!! It really does mean a lot and I hope I can return the same type of encouragement to all of you at some point.
There was a crash in the W123, Annette seemed to get the worst of it, hoping for a speedy recovery for her. Amara, I hope you are feeling better and no more dizziness!
As far as my team, they did awesome! This was the 1st crit for many of the W4's each one of them hung in and rocked that race. I hear they repeated the performance at BL Memorial the following day too. Yeah!
Wish I was well enough for Walla Walla, bummed to not be part of the whole team bonding thing right now but my time will come.
Still working on my back, still trying to keep life in perspective, with my little girl who is giving me a scare, I just keep hoping that it is nothing and she is going to be fine. She is my highest priority. It helps to have all the other encouragement to keep me positive and to keep hoping for the best case. Life just keep coming no matter what and you've got to roll with it.
Cheers!
Monday, April 07, 2008
expanding and shrinking
What do you do when even with every good intention you still fall further and further away from where you want to be? This is my question today. I brought in a very healthy lunch of hummus veggies, salad w/ feta and pepperoncini's and the goal of eating in my office then getting to the gym to do core and stretching. Riding my bike? well no, too busy this morning getting kids and pets ready to get myself packed and ready to ride in. Did I get to the gym? well no, too busy helping people at my lab, and waiting for people to show up that are late or don't show at all. Time that I could have actually gotten to the gym now gone. When do I get to do something for me? I get to take sick leave tomorrow to get needles in my back, does that count?
So, what is expanding? My frustration along with my ass! What is shrinking? My ability to cope with current state of being and my fitness!
Volunteer Park is Saturday, I am seriously not in race shape but hell or high water... OK rain or shine, I am going to roll up to that little white line clip in and pedal. Humph!
See ya Saturday! BTW... not a chance that I will be in my skinsuit ;p
So, what is expanding? My frustration along with my ass! What is shrinking? My ability to cope with current state of being and my fitness!
Volunteer Park is Saturday, I am seriously not in race shape but hell or high water... OK rain or shine, I am going to roll up to that little white line clip in and pedal. Humph!
See ya Saturday! BTW... not a chance that I will be in my skinsuit ;p
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
Swimmy
I went swimming yesterday. How is that it is so much more complicated then getting all the bike gear on and out the door for a ride? Already misplaced (or lost if I don't find) my goggles. It felt good to get some form of exercise. I used to be a pretty good swimmer, 200IM was my thing. Yesterday was during open swim at Ballard which meant crosswise with kid bobbing back and forth across the lane. Still OK just LOTS of turning around hard to get in a rhythm. One thing about swimming if I do it for 30-40 minutes continually I am starving when I get out and yesterday I realized actually very thirsty. Still it seems to be so much more consuming of time to get ready and get in the pool than to put on all the lycra, helmet, shoes, gloves, goo, water bottles, ipod etc. Why is that?
I was going to swim at the IMA today but it seemed like too much work that early in the morning to remember everything... Uh, Swimsuit, goggles (if I could find them).
Hmmm.
Anyway it seems that swimming can be for everyone... if we only put forth the effort. ;p
I was going to swim at the IMA today but it seemed like too much work that early in the morning to remember everything... Uh, Swimsuit, goggles (if I could find them).
Hmmm.
Anyway it seems that swimming can be for everyone... if we only put forth the effort. ;p
Friday, March 28, 2008
:(
Starting to feel very sad about not racing and it seems like I will never be out racing let alone riding at this point. Spinal injection on Wednesday, hurt like a mother then no pain at all for a couple hours now, a raging headache and the pain is back. Bummer. I was told that this could happen and to give it a few days to a week so not giving up just yet.
The weather is not all that inviting for racing right now anyways so I guess if there is anytime to be forced on the bench now is not too bad of a time. Still, I miss it and feel like I am getting so far out of shape that I will be at the back all season. Better than not being out at all right?
Still hopeful that I will recover and at least get out to the track this year.
On the brighter side, we made an offer on a cabin in Mazama and got it! WooHoo! Looking forward to winter and summer fun in one of the most beautiful places in Washington. Haven't told the girls yet, boy are they going to be excited.
Trying to weight the good with the bad, all in all it is mostly good. My health issue will get resolved my patients is wearing thin but I just need to stay as positive as I look toward all the good in my life to balance it out. Mazama is my spoon full of sugar right now. Not to mention I have the most beautiful girls and a very caring boyfriend.
The weather is not all that inviting for racing right now anyways so I guess if there is anytime to be forced on the bench now is not too bad of a time. Still, I miss it and feel like I am getting so far out of shape that I will be at the back all season. Better than not being out at all right?
Still hopeful that I will recover and at least get out to the track this year.
On the brighter side, we made an offer on a cabin in Mazama and got it! WooHoo! Looking forward to winter and summer fun in one of the most beautiful places in Washington. Haven't told the girls yet, boy are they going to be excited.
Trying to weight the good with the bad, all in all it is mostly good. My health issue will get resolved my patients is wearing thin but I just need to stay as positive as I look toward all the good in my life to balance it out. Mazama is my spoon full of sugar right now. Not to mention I have the most beautiful girls and a very caring boyfriend.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Spain!
I am so far behind on everything so this will be very quick.
I am back, it was amazing! I would love to go back to Mallorca and acctually get to ride my bike! Did a few short rides my back was seriously whacked from the plane travel and walking about 10miles a day for a week prior to getting to ride. Eventhough I couldn't climb or ride hard with everyone else just being on a bike in those surrounding was inspiring and I loved it.
Shannon and Jason's wedding was absolutely beautiful, fun, and inspiring with good friends and great familys!
Just a few photos then I need to catch up on two weeks of missed work. Blah!
This is at Montserrat outside of Barcellona way up on a mountain.
I am back, it was amazing! I would love to go back to Mallorca and acctually get to ride my bike! Did a few short rides my back was seriously whacked from the plane travel and walking about 10miles a day for a week prior to getting to ride. Eventhough I couldn't climb or ride hard with everyone else just being on a bike in those surrounding was inspiring and I loved it.
Shannon and Jason's wedding was absolutely beautiful, fun, and inspiring with good friends and great familys!
Just a few photos then I need to catch up on two weeks of missed work. Blah!
This is at Montserrat outside of Barcellona way up on a mountain.
Sevilla was a beautiful old city with the second largest catherdral in Europe behind the Vatican. This is a street outside the Alakazar palace, truly amazing!
This is inside one of the Moorish architecture room of the palace.
Hotel Amadeus in Sevilla 
Biking back to our Agrotourism Son Suriana in Mallorca. An old farmhouse turned B&B still growing fruit, olives, almonds and fig trees and sheep grazing on the hill side. What more could you ask for?
I have an empty flikr account that I plan on filling soon with lots more photos. I post the link once I get that done.
I hear that the racing here in the NW is going great. Sounds like a solid womens field. Yeah!!! I sure hope to be out there with y'all very soon. Got to get some injections and dry needling done to calm down my back and then I'll be out. Most likely living up to "Off the Back" but at least I'll be out there. ;p
Miss seeing all my teammates and fast lady friends.
Cheers!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Si Mallorca, No Mason!
I don't know much if any spanish but really does it matter? I leave for Spain on Friday! Barcelona > South Lots of places > ride a camel > see some apes > Mallorca! Riding and Shan and Jason's wedding! I am very nervous to be gone so long but excited too. Should be a great time.
My back is so so, got the MRI results back and it is at least expected... Spondy, Disc bulge and tear. Next step? Don't know, pain management is my guess. I just need to take care and keep active. Not sure if I will be able to run again, never liked it much but it is funny how you miss something when you can't do it.
I now have a 62lb puppy that loves to dig and eat my favorite plants and electrical cords. Good thing she tugged it (cord) out of the wall before devouring it. Too bad I didn't see what she had done til I plugged it in! OUCH! I am still mourning the loss of the most beautiful clematis ever! hopefully I can salvage the roots and it will grow again. All is good though, I love "little" Miley anyway she is the sweetest goofy puppy and she is always smiling.
Well I need to head off to start the last minute rush to get ready to leave.
Sorry to miss Mason Lake, well not that sorry. Good luck all, have fun and rubber side down!!!!
See ya at...oh, Sequim???
My back is so so, got the MRI results back and it is at least expected... Spondy, Disc bulge and tear. Next step? Don't know, pain management is my guess. I just need to take care and keep active. Not sure if I will be able to run again, never liked it much but it is funny how you miss something when you can't do it.
I now have a 62lb puppy that loves to dig and eat my favorite plants and electrical cords. Good thing she tugged it (cord) out of the wall before devouring it. Too bad I didn't see what she had done til I plugged it in! OUCH! I am still mourning the loss of the most beautiful clematis ever! hopefully I can salvage the roots and it will grow again. All is good though, I love "little" Miley anyway she is the sweetest goofy puppy and she is always smiling.
Well I need to head off to start the last minute rush to get ready to leave.
Sorry to miss Mason Lake, well not that sorry. Good luck all, have fun and rubber side down!!!!
See ya at...oh, Sequim???
Monday, February 04, 2008
All at once
Wow, February is truning out to be a very full month, at least there is one extra day this year...
So much going on from all direction. Clothing for the team is in and I spent the weekend sorting and bagging it while waiting for people to come by and pick up. It is amazing how antsy I get if I "can't" leave my house because I have to be available for pick up. There was plenty for me to do there but all of the sudden I could think of a bunch of errands and stuff I 'could' be doing. Ah well, the grass is always greener or something like that. The kits look super cool my favorite part is the addition of the SRAM frogs. Frogs on my kit, cool! Dunno guess it is the zoologist in me that has been begging to have somekind of recognition since I do nothing related to that anymore (or I am just weird). :p
I am troop cookie manager now, talk about a pending nightmare! 1200 boxes of girl scout cookies are going to find their way to my house in a couple of weeks and I get to devide them all up and hope that the families come and get them ASAP otherwise I know one little Bernese Mnt Dog that will be far more tempted to get into the goods than over the weekend with lycra.
BTW if you are just dying for Girls Scout cookies before the cute littel girls harass you at the market, let me know I can hook you up.
Work craziness, writing a grant for a new sorter (not this minute, I needed a break) Got roped into speaking as an expert in my field not sure how it happend, they asked me for good topics they could have a seminar on. I gave them suggestions and they said that woudl be a great how about you do this part of the panel talk. What!! I couldn't say no after all I should try to challenge my self since I have been complaining that my job has been somewhat borring. That is next week.
Living situation is changing addition of a boy and his dog and two kitties (someday, they can't come over quite yet) how to make room?
Can't get to the snow, grr but at least I am riding my bike again. Hope to get back to Mazama mid Feb. but I don't know if that is in the cards right now.
Oh yeah, going to Spain on Feb 29th!! One week traveling around Barcelona, then south day trip to Maraco, then over to Mallorca for Shannon and Jason's wedding and cycling! WooHoo!
Better get back to writing my grant since it won't write itself.
Cheers!
So much going on from all direction. Clothing for the team is in and I spent the weekend sorting and bagging it while waiting for people to come by and pick up. It is amazing how antsy I get if I "can't" leave my house because I have to be available for pick up. There was plenty for me to do there but all of the sudden I could think of a bunch of errands and stuff I 'could' be doing. Ah well, the grass is always greener or something like that. The kits look super cool my favorite part is the addition of the SRAM frogs. Frogs on my kit, cool! Dunno guess it is the zoologist in me that has been begging to have somekind of recognition since I do nothing related to that anymore (or I am just weird). :p
I am troop cookie manager now, talk about a pending nightmare! 1200 boxes of girl scout cookies are going to find their way to my house in a couple of weeks and I get to devide them all up and hope that the families come and get them ASAP otherwise I know one little Bernese Mnt Dog that will be far more tempted to get into the goods than over the weekend with lycra.
BTW if you are just dying for Girls Scout cookies before the cute littel girls harass you at the market, let me know I can hook you up.
Work craziness, writing a grant for a new sorter (not this minute, I needed a break) Got roped into speaking as an expert in my field not sure how it happend, they asked me for good topics they could have a seminar on. I gave them suggestions and they said that woudl be a great how about you do this part of the panel talk. What!! I couldn't say no after all I should try to challenge my self since I have been complaining that my job has been somewhat borring. That is next week.
Living situation is changing addition of a boy and his dog and two kitties (someday, they can't come over quite yet) how to make room?
Can't get to the snow, grr but at least I am riding my bike again. Hope to get back to Mazama mid Feb. but I don't know if that is in the cards right now.
Oh yeah, going to Spain on Feb 29th!! One week traveling around Barcelona, then south day trip to Maraco, then over to Mallorca for Shannon and Jason's wedding and cycling! WooHoo!
Better get back to writing my grant since it won't write itself.
Cheers!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Been set straight
USACycling sanctions that Cat5 and 4 have field limits of 50. This means that there is a typo on the WW site. Sorry for the false excitement. There is a good list of women and I can't wait to race with them. Super cool we have 11 from my team signed up. Gonna be fun.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Walla Walla mania!!!!
Registration has been open for what 2 - 3 days and the W4 field is almost full. This is partially because they limit the field to 50 riders and they added team limits as well. Good thing for the smaller teams some of the larger teams have done a great job of getting out in force for these races and they could fill 1/2 the field if there wasn't a limit. WAIT!!!! breaking news I just check the registation site and they have upped the w4's to 100. Wouldn't it be cool to see the w4 field out number the Mens P12? Last year it seemed like these guys were not out in as large of numbers. It is a bummer not have a large mens 12 field it make the crit supper fun to watch and for a bike race geek it is the ulimate in fun. (besides being out there yourself I suppose.)
Hope to be in tip topish shape by then. Is it really Easter Sunday too? Will there be any bunnies carry chocolate eggs?
Hope to be in tip topish shape by then. Is it really Easter Sunday too? Will there be any bunnies carry chocolate eggs?
Monday, January 14, 2008
Quick update...
First, Happy 2008!
Went to Whistler for New Years I Skied for the first time in oh, a decade or more. 1st time on shaped skies and whoo hooo it didn't make the back any worse so that is a huge positive! Also I forgot how absolutly fun it can be to go down hill fast on sticks.
The girls snowboarded 3 days and were tearing it up, my little shreaders ;)
My back is still a serious bummer not better, sometimes worse (or just different place same deal). I did start riding again, Sunday on the BEST day in forever I road with the team and did 60 miles, I wanted to cry by the time we hit the I90 bridge on the way home but gutted it out and waited to get home to feel sorry for myself. Right now my mid back goes into spasms and clamps down on the ribs making it hurt to breath. No fun. It has got to get better though, right?
Miley is getting big, 45lbs she is such a sweet little puppy. She now can roam around the house and not get into trouble (most of the time) even if we are not home. Yeah!
Our team is already talking racing I can't quite imagine yet, there is even track talk! Sure hope I can get out there this year. Here's to hopping I fall back into one peice soon!
Cheers!
First, Happy 2008!
Went to Whistler for New Years I Skied for the first time in oh, a decade or more. 1st time on shaped skies and whoo hooo it didn't make the back any worse so that is a huge positive! Also I forgot how absolutly fun it can be to go down hill fast on sticks.
The girls snowboarded 3 days and were tearing it up, my little shreaders ;)
My back is still a serious bummer not better, sometimes worse (or just different place same deal). I did start riding again, Sunday on the BEST day in forever I road with the team and did 60 miles, I wanted to cry by the time we hit the I90 bridge on the way home but gutted it out and waited to get home to feel sorry for myself. Right now my mid back goes into spasms and clamps down on the ribs making it hurt to breath. No fun. It has got to get better though, right?
Miley is getting big, 45lbs she is such a sweet little puppy. She now can roam around the house and not get into trouble (most of the time) even if we are not home. Yeah!
Our team is already talking racing I can't quite imagine yet, there is even track talk! Sure hope I can get out there this year. Here's to hopping I fall back into one peice soon!
Cheers!
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